In 2017, my independent, unpartnered, adult son sustained a catastrophic brain injury from an uncommon cancer and an extremely rare autoimmune disease. I was called back to motherhood in a way I never expected. 

Grief stricken, furious, and terrified, I was suddenly completely responsible for my son. His medical needs and his vulnerability were—and still are—staggering. I reached for comfort where I could find it. On Friday nights, I lit candles for Shabbat. My husband and I marked time by the Hebrew calendar and the Jewish holidays, even when I was too angry with G-d to be able to sit through services.

And I wrote. I wrote about brain injuries, cancer, autoimmune diseases, blended families under stress, advocacy, and disability—my son’s and my own. About our extreme medical vulnerability in the time of COVID-19.

The memoir that grew out of that writing isn’t a traditional story of triumph over illness and disability. Things don’t happen for a reason. Illness is not a gift. My son survives, but his recovery, such as it is, remains a mystery wrapped in loss.

Mother of Millions is forthcoming from Unsolicited Press in February 2029.